I am fading away, I hope not

Its been a long and hard time for me.

I know i made alot of errors all these times and i'm at fault sometimes.

I can blame no one for the mistakes I made.

I just hope for another chance.

The end is nearing,
I am willing to do anything just to keep the fire in me burning.

 

Why??!!

Just receive a very cruel message from my agent. And here's the full message:
Guys, MNP is on hold. Juz got de information frm client. Will contact u guys again. But for sure u ppl in the list!
Zzzz....I dont know what is happening to me in this month or maybe this year. I did not have a great start to the year, and bad things keeps on happening to me. This is the second time in this month my boss postpone my team's project and I have to stay at home and measure the floor again >.<. This message come at the very untimely moment as the same person told me that my salary will be reduce from RM100 per day to RM80 per day the day before. Gosh!!! a RM20 reduction per day....arrggghhh.....means i'm gonna lose around RM400-500 compare to last month if i am able to work full. Thats quite an amount of money to me. T-T
Why!!! 2009!!!! Why you treated me so badly!!! Giving me all these kind on bad things at such an early stage!!!